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I Am Clever


A Fine Line - Between Chaos and Creation

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy; I don't mind, I think they're crazy...

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Smitty Story, part 3
I Am Clever
Title: Smitty And The Quest For The Class 5 Cook
Author: Myself, Smitty 'Jaws' McPatchington, Esq.
Rating: G (might go up later)
Word Count: Unfinished
Disclaimer: I don't own the organizations I name in this story (names have been changed), and a good deal of the characters are based off of real people.
Warning(s): MAJOR CRACK/RANDOMNESS. Read at your own risk. :P
AN: My fourth piece of OF. Previous chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2


Princess Smitty tried to placate the small man. "Look, we'd love to help you out - really! But my kingdom is in dire need of this Class 5 cook! If we don't bring one back soon, they'll die from overexposure to the eggs! And I couldn't do that to them."

Won Ton just snorted. "Too bad. You were trespassing on Hayrjell land. Now face the consequences." He and the others all began to advance on Smitty and Yvanovich (who by this time was curled up in the fetal position on the ground), when suddenly a loud growl was heard. "Oh no!" Won Ton yelled. "The Ooomoo! It has awoken! Evasive manoeuvres!"

Immediately, all the people started screaming and ran back into their houses (at least, that's what Smitty assumed) to hide. All, that is, except for Won Ton, who hid behind a small bush.

Yvanovich got up off the ground and whispered, "What's this Oomoo? I've never heard of one."

Smitty replied, "Neither have I. And I'm not too sure I want to stay and find out. So let's get out of here!"

Yvanovich nodded, "I agree." They both began to move away from the immediate area as quickly as they could. They covered what they felt was a good amount of distance, before slowing down. "Whew," Smitty said, breathing a sigh of relief. "I'm glad that's over. Well, let's keep moving."

Yvanovich was about to respond when they heard a voice behind them. "WAIT!!"

They turned to look, and there was Won Ton, running as fast as his tiny legs would allow. "Take me with you!" he gasped. "My home is destroyed, and with it, all my possessions. I have nothing left. Please allow me to join you on your quest!"

Yvanovich raised an eyebrow skeptically. "I dunno - I mean, what could a 6-inch tall midget do on a quest like this? You'd probably just get hurt."

Won Ton drew himself up haughtily at that remark. "I'll have you know, I am one of my peoples' finest warriors. I have my own weapons, and am fully capable of defending myself in a fight."

Yvanovich just snickered. "Oh, like you did with the Ooomoo?"

"That… was different!" Won Ton went red. "No one has ever seen the Ooomoo. Many brave warriors have tried to fight it, but none have succeeded. Hiding is the only method to lessen the bloodshed."

Yvanovich just rolled his eyes.

"Okay, cut it out, both of you!" Smitty interjected, silencing them both. "He can come with us. We may need the help along the way."

"Whatever." Yvanovich sulked.

Smitty was about to make a comment about his attitude, when they heard a rustling in the bushes behind them and a familiar growl. Won Ton went pale. "Oh, no - the Ooomoo has followed us!"