Log in

No account? Create an account
I Am Clever


A Fine Line - Between Chaos and Creation

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy; I don't mind, I think they're crazy...

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Another story (unfinished as of yet)
I Am Clever
Title: Smitty And The Quest For The Class 5 Cook
Author: Myself, Smitty 'Jaws' McPatchington, Esq.
Rating: G (might go up later)
Word Count: Unfinished
Disclaimer: I don't own the organizations I name in this story (names have been changed), and a good deal of the characters are based off of real people.
Warning(s): MAJOR CRACK/RANDOMNESS. Read at your own risk. :P
AN: My fourth piece of OF. (Man, I seem to be spouting off a lot of these lately. :O)

Comments are appreciated - flames are not.


Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Smitty. She lived in the far-off kingdom of Marineria, which was inhabited by the midget people of Cadork, Nonny-ing leprechauns, and a Cheshire Edwaz. It was a very beautiful kingdom, only marred by the constant pumping of lush green factory smoke.

The factories were always hard at work, producing IMPs and MREs for the people in the kingdom to eat, day in and day out. Nobody really liked to eat them, but unfortunately, Princess Smitty had no qualified Class 5 or higher cooks in her kingdom.

One day, Princess Smitty decided that enough was enough. She gathered all the kingdom in front of her castle, and declared, "Today, good citizens of Marineria, I will go off in search of a Class 5 (or higher) cook! Then we will no longer be forced to eat these," she held up a tofu-like packet of eggs in disgust, "any longer! We will be freed from the evil tyranny of the factories!" The crowd cheered loudly. Smitty continued, "And I promise I will not return until I have found such a cook, for no one deserves to suffer such bad pseudo-food as this! In my place, I am leaving Prince Etch-A-Sketch in charge of the kingdom. He will serve you well - at least, semi-well," she muttered the last part, while casting a sideways glance at her younger brother, playing video games, oblivious to what was going on. The crowd didn't notice, as they were too busy cheering.

Later on that day, Princess Smitty set out on her quest, accompanied by her court jester Yvanovich (he was born in Russia), a backpack of supplies, and as always, her trusty Multi-tool™. She didn't know what awaited her, but it looked promising.