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I Am Clever


A Fine Line - Between Chaos and Creation

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy; I don't mind, I think they're crazy...

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NaBloPoMo - Day Seventeen
People say that art influences life, but I tend to think it's the other way around, most of the time. With that said, this is referring to my current mood and how it's colouring today's post.

I'm not happy right now. And I have no idea why. I don't have any real logical reason to be unhappy (that I can think of), so why am I feeling this way? That, and I'm feeling a recent resurgence of the "AIACR" (Alone in a Crowded Room" Syndrome.

I mean, I'm not as depressed as, say, this person: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Loneliness
Or this: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Sad

(Note: Both links are meant to make a point as well as be humourous)

But I'm not exactly Happy Mary Sunshine, either. (Note: I'm not EVER usually really happy [ie: ridiculously happy all the time], but I'm not feeling my usual cheerful, positive self.

I think that this feeling just tends to hide beneath the surface. When I'm with friends/doing fun stuff, I tend to forget about it, but when I'm not, eventually it comes right back to the surface. Usually it requires venting of some kind, and I don't want to other anyone with my problems, so I say nothing. It'll come out in my notebooks, generally, but even then, I sometimes feel like I'm yelling in a soundproof room.

Sometimes it's related to my circumstances (stress), but I'm not sure this time.

One thing IS sure, however - I don't WANT to feel like this.

I've prayed about it several times, but sometimes, it just feels so oppressive.

If you've read this far, thanks for reading and I'm sorry for taking up your time.

*leaves quietly*


Today is/was Homemade Bread Day and Take a Hike Day. Enjoy! :)