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I Am Clever


A Fine Line - Between Chaos and Creation

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy; I don't mind, I think they're crazy...

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Tuesday, Week 10 - The Smitty Story, Chapter 16
Well...this post is a little late. Whoops.

So, Tim got into a car accident on Sunday. He was headed out to help his mom with house stuff, and on the way there, he hit a wet patch (it was rainy out there), and rear-ended another driver. Now, the other vehicle and driver were fine. Not a scratch or piece of damage. Tim's car, on the other hand...

This could have been so much worse.

Tim wasn't injured at all, but his car was a complete write-off, given the age/make of his car (2003 Pontiac Sunfire). So the last few days have been a hectic scramble of "trying to acquire a new car before the insurance-paid-for rental has to go back", which is something that should never be hectic.

Thankfully, we're about 95% of the way there to owning a new vehicle (2015 Chevy Cruze *drools*), which is fantastic, both because we need this to be over and done with, and because it's literally a new car, and I/my family have never had new cars (or "new" much of anything, really - that's what happens when you have 6 kids).

So here's hoping that'll be done soon, and over the next couple of days, I'll get myself caught up again.

/End IRL stuff.

Anyway, onto the story!

Title: Smitty And The Quest For The Class 5 Cook
Author: Myself, Smitty 'Jaws' McPatchington, Esq.
Rating: G (might go up later)
Word Count: 8554 (unfinished)
Disclaimer: I don't own the organizations I name in this story (names have been changed), and a good deal of the characters are based off of real people.
Warning(s): MAJOR CRACK/RANDOMNESS. Read at your own risk. :P
AN: My fourth piece of OF. Previous chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15


Smitty couldn’t tell how long it had been since they had been kidnapped by the dark figures. She had initially tried shouting at them, attempted to engage them in conversation, and even tried kicking the one carrying her through the sack she was in. That had only gotten a threatening-sounding grunt of something that sounded similar to “Stoppit”.

Since then, she hadn’t tried to communicate or fight against them, knowing that her efforts would have been futile. She then decided to try to document some more of their journey in her notebook, but was stopped when she realized that her notebook was still in the bag that Yvanovich was still carrying. “Nuts. Why is it that I never have the book on me when there’s a good opportunity to write more?” she muttered.

Then Smitty decided to try and narrate out loud to herself, to try and keep the details of what she wanted to write fresh in her mind. "As the ground became increasingly unstable, the lights flickered and all went out, turning the cave into a den of near-total darkness. All four people tried desperately to find places in the cave that weren't out in the open and hoped that the cave wouldn't collapse on them in the meantime..." Suddenly, she was cut off by an exaggerated groan over to her left.

"You aren't still writing that piece of drivel, are you?" Yvanovich complained. "I thought you'd given that up, seeing as we haven't had a lot of time for you to write anything."

"Shush," Smitty commanded. "I'm trying to think, here." After a pause, she continued to narrate: "After several long minutes, the rumblings subsided and the travellers were able to get to their feet again, albeit with no light source..." The jester's voice cut into her narration again.

"Seriously? Why bother? It's stupid and no one will ever read it. Why would you want something like this documented for the world to see?"

"Because," Smitty gritted her teeth as she responded, "it's important to me. I started this, and I plan to finish it; someone SOMEWHERE has got to want to read this."

"Right. If you say so." The jester's voice was just dripping in sarcasm now, and Smitty really hoped for an opportunity in future to punch Yvanovich's lights out (or at least just give him a good wallop upside the head).

Just then, the movement stopped, and Smitty couldn't stop a groan of pain as the sack she was in (and presumably the others') had been dropped unceremoniously to the ground, landing on her shoulder. The bag was then opened, and the princess had to bring her hand up to shield her eyes from the unexpected deluge of light. From somewhere in the bright haze of light, Smitty could hear someone chuckling ominously. "Well, well, well - what have we here?"

At the sound of the speaker's voice, Smitty's blood ran cold - it was the sound of a voice that she'd hoped to never hear again.


See you later, when I backdate Wednesday's post.