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I Am Clever


A Fine Line - Between Chaos and Creation

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy; I don't mind, I think they're crazy...

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Tuesday, Week 5 - The Smitty Story, Chapter 11
The Clock is Ticking
Week 5! We've gotten through a month's worth of weekly updates for this piece of ridiculousness I started back in 2010, and I have to say, I don't think the story would have gotten to this point if it wasn't for this project.

Anyway, on to crack!fic!

Title: Smitty And The Quest For The Class 5 Cook
Author: Myself, Smitty 'Jaws' McPatchington, Esq.
Rating: G (might go up later)
Word Count: Unfinished
Disclaimer: I don't own the organizations I name in this story (names have been changed), and a good deal of the characters are based off of real people.
Warning(s): MAJOR CRACK/RANDOMNESS. Read at your own risk. :P
AN: My fourth piece of OF. Previous chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10


After a long session of stumbling around in the dark winding tunnels that was conveniently skipped over by the Author, the group of travellers found themselves approaching a light. Upon getting closer, it turned out to be an exit to the cave. "Oh, thank goodness!" Yvanovich exclaimed, before kneeling down and kissing the ground. "I thought we'd never get out of there!"

"For a while there, neither did I," Smitty admitted. "It was a bit nerve-wracking when the torch went out, but thank goodness I'd brought extra matches to re-light it." Then she looked around at their surroundings. "So... where are we? I don't recognize this area at all."

"Neither do I," Yvanovich agreed. "But then again, I don't recognize the majority of your castle, because I spend most of my time sleeping, or trying to beat Prince Etch-A-Sketch at video games. He's a rotten cheater." The last part was added in a mutter.

Smitty glared at him. "Was that where you were last week when I needed you to, you know, actually WORK for me? I ought to-" She was cut off by Won Ton clearing his throat from where he sat on the ground next to her discarded pack. "Yes?"

"Forgive my imposition, my lady, but have you consulted your chart at all? Perhaps it might be able to help us determine our location," the small man replied.

"No, I haven't," she replied, slightly embarrassed that she hadn't thought of that herself. "I'll do that now."

She unrolled the map, and started looking all over for significant landmarks. "There's the Toxic Caffeinated Mexican Rice field... the forest...yes... that looks okay... oh look! The Ooomoo's Lair is even noted on this map!"

"It IS??!?!?!?" Yvanovich screeched. "You mean we could have avoided that thing all along?"

Continuing onward, Smitty continued to look over the map, ignoring the jester's outburst and the fact that he was now reading over her shoulder. Suddenly, she frowned. "Well, this doesn't look good."

"What? What doesn't?" Yvanovich asked, continuing to stare at the map. "I don't see it."

"Neither do I, and that's the problem," Smitty replied grimly. "The cave entrance we entered after the Sludge field is here..." She pointed at a section of the map. "The only problem is; there are no other exits marked on this map. As a matter of fact, the cave itself is only half-shown on here."

Yvanovich and Won Ton gasped in unison. "You don't mean...?"

"I do," the princess nodded. "We're now in the Uncharted Territories."


A non-decade-specific Listography awaits tomorrow!