I Am Clever

alec_towser


A Fine Line - Between Chaos and Creation

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy; I don't mind, I think they're crazy...


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Tuesday, Week 4 - The Smitty Story, Chapter 10
I Am Clever
alec_towser
Well, I've done it - mailed off the WTJ today. I'm technically not sending it to myself, but only because we in our basement suite don't have a mailbox key (our landlord upstairs does) and thus don't always receive mail down here in a timely manner. So I've sent it to my parents, and will pick it up when it shows up. Cost me $4.30 to send it as "oversized letter", as it still (luckily) fit in the demo slot they had there, so I didn't get charged as a parcel. Whew. Hopefully it doesn't get lost, now. :S

Anyway, that's a story for next Monday, as this is CRACK!FIC TUESDAY! :D *party favours all sound*

Huzzah for narcissism, and double digit chapters, now!

Title: Smitty And The Quest For The Class 5 Cook
Author: Myself, Smitty 'Jaws' McPatchington, Esq.
Rating: G (might go up later)
Word Count: Unfinished
Disclaimer: I don't own the organizations I name in this story (names have been changed), and a good deal of the characters are based off of real people.
Warning(s): MAJOR CRACK/RANDOMNESS. Read at your own risk. :P
AN: My fourth piece of OF. Previous chapters:


Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9

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At the announcement that the strange cave-dwelling man was missing, both Yvanovich and Won Ton looked all around, surprised. "He can't have gotten far, can he?" Yvanovich thought aloud, scratching his head.

"I don't think so," Smitty responded. "Not in the middle of that earthquake, anyway." Turning around, she noticed an assortment of openings in the wall she hadn't noticed earlier. "Maybe he went through one of these, though. He's more familiar with these caves than we are."

"That makes sense, I guess." Yvanovich walked over toward where Smitty was holding up the torch and stared into the gloom at the openings. "But which one do we go through?"

"We could perhaps try searching them systematically," Won Ton suggested. "Start at one end of the line of tunnels, and continuously try the next one if the previous one does not work?"

The jester wagged his finger at the small man. "Ah, but see - that would make sense. I think we should try splitting up into three tunnels, and after a certain amount of time, come back here and figure out which one is the right one." He grinned, pleased with his decision.

Smitty frowned. "Unfortunately, neither of those ideas really work in our favour. Searching the tunnels systematically might only get us more mixed-up than we are already." Yvanovich stuck his tongue out at Won Ton as if to say 'I told you so'.

"BUT," Smitty continued, shooting a Look at the jester, "splitting up is just a straight-up stupid idea, as none of us are familiar with the caves, and we only have one torch." Won Ton then thumbed his nose at the jester, snickering quietly at the response.

For that, Yvanovich elbowed the small man, who then smacked him in return.

As the two males proceeded to get in an all out shoving fight behind the princess, Smitty was still contemplating which course of action to take; keeping in mind that their torch wouldn't last forever. Finally, she sighed and chose to go with a tried and true method: "Eenie, meenie, miney, mo..." 30 seconds later, she was finishing up: "...and you are it!"

Memorizing which tunnel she'd chosen, she turned around briefly to address her companions, completely ignoring their even more disheveled states. "Alright ladies, let's get up and moving. The torch won't last forever, and I personally want to get out of here. We've been here since Chapter 5, which makes this cave the setting for almost half of this story so far, and as story settings go, this cave is a bit boring."

Yvanovich and Won Ton shrugged. "If you say so, Boss," the jester declared in a long-suffering tone of voice. "I wouldn't know, though, as I'm just a supporting character who follows you around. The story isn't called Yvanovich and the Quest for the Class Five Cook, after all."

He was then hit in the face by a flying book. "If you don't know, then catch yourself up," said a voice from the vicinity of the torch that was now moving away from him. "We can't wait in here any longer. Especially if those earthquakes are a regular occurrence. So either read the book and catch yourself up with how dull the cave is, or live up to your character type and follow me around out of this cave."

Yvanovich didn't need to be told twice. Clutching the book tightly, he ran to catch up before the torch disappeared down the dark, winding tunnel.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Listography Wednesday tomorrow!

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