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I Am Clever


A Fine Line - Between Chaos and Creation

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy; I don't mind, I think they're crazy...

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Tuesday, Week 3 - The Smitty Story, Chapter 9
Bad Pun
Title: Smitty And The Quest For The Class 5 Cook
Author: Myself, Smitty 'Jaws' McPatchington, Esq.
Rating: G (might go up later)
Word Count: Unfinished
Disclaimer: I don't own the organizations I name in this story (names have been changed), and a good deal of the characters are based off of real people.
Warning(s): MAJOR CRACK/RANDOMNESS. Read at your own risk. :P
AN: My fourth piece of OF. Previous chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8


As the ground became increasingly unstable, the lights flickered and all went out, turning the cave into a den of near-total darkness. All four people tried desperately to find places in the cave that weren't out in the open and hoped that the cave wouldn't collapse on them in the meantime. After several long minutes, the rumblings subsided and the travellers were able to get to their feet again, albeit with no light source. "Well, that was a close one," Smitty commented, lighting a match and looking at the assortment of fist-sized rocks now residing in the middle of the floor. "Anyone hurt?"

"I'm fine," Yvanovich muttered from where he was inspecting his hat thoroughly. "I don't think my hat will ever recover, though." He proceeded to point out a large tear in the side.

"I do not appear to be harmed, and my possessions have not been damaged," Won Ton spoke up. "This is a most fortuitous set of circumstances."

"Fortu-what?" Yvanovich boggled at the smaller man. "Don't start speaking in tongues. I've already had a hard enough day as it is."

Won Ton rolled his eyes, then realized someone hadn't spoken up. "Princess, we have not heard from the Quadrilateral? Do you suppose he is alright?"

Smitty looked startled - that thought hadn't even crossed her mind. She tried calling out into the dark, but there was no reply. She lit another match, looking for something to use as a torch. She eventually was able to find a large metal bar (presumably from the frame of some of the Ridiculous Quadrilateral's furniture; many of his things were torn from the rockfall), and before the jester could protest, Smitty had snatched his ruined hat out of his hands and lashed it onto the end of the pole with her Multi-Tool™, making use once again of her building montage fiction trope that hadn't been seen since Chapter 4. She then proceeded to light it on fire, thus turning it into a functioning torch. "Hey, I needed that!" Yvanovich scowled.

"Oh, please. I did it - and you - a favour. Now we can find the Ridiculous Quadrilateral and get out of here," Smitty snapped, not wanting to deal with the jester's petty behaviour anymore. Turning around, she did a complete circuit of the immediate area, and realized something quite eerie: "Guys? The Ridiculous Quadrilateral is gone!"


Listography Wednesday, up next!