I Am Clever

alec_towser


A Fine Line - Between Chaos and Creation

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy; I don't mind, I think they're crazy...


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UNIT!100 - 030. Death.
Forever Alone Pinkie
alec_towser
Title: Survivor’s Guilt
Fandom: Doctor Who
Characters: Mike Yates
Prompt: 030. Death.
Word Count: 274
Rating: T
Summary: He was no stranger to death.
Author’s Note: Warning for mentions of depression. In contrast to my last two more light-hearted stories, this is a bit of a darker one. I promise I’ll write something happier for Mike next time.

———

Mike Yates was no stranger to death. How could he be, being in the military?

And yet... every time a comrade fell, every friend he lost, every letter he had to send back to another set of parents who'd lost a son (or in a few cases, daughter)... it never got any easier.

Contrary to what one might think, serving on the home front didn't make things any less difficult than serving overseas. Especially when many of the enemies he was tasked to defend the country from were't even human. This meant that he and his men had far less chance of survival than many others might have.

So how did he manage to somehow keep outliving the others? He prided himself on being an officer who would fight alongside his men, not behind them, and frankly, it wasn't like he was particularly hardy. He had heard it said by many of the men around the base that it looked like he would blow away in a stiff breeze, and he was aware of the fact that next to other soldiers such as Sgt Benton, he wasn't as physically substantial by comparison. So why was he still alive?

There were times when he would wake up at night from dreadful nightmares, shaking and covered in sweat, feeling utterly inadequate. Why was his life any more important than theirs? Why hadn't he died alongside them? Instead, he was left behind to bury them.

There were definite times when he wished he could stop beating the odds and just join them already. At least then he could stop feeling this crushing guilt at still being alive.

———

“The years have passed, but I’m still around
I’ve defied the odds and the body count
…I never asked to be an unsung hero…” - Unsung Hero - Area-7 (my partial inspiration for this fic)



X-posted to FF.net, Teaspoon, AO3, and unit_family.

  • 1
Oh dear, poor Mike! Very believable though. The sort of plotline that we might see touched upon in the modern show, were the UNIT people used more.

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